"Can two male cats really get along?"
"Are female cats too territorial to live together?"
Over and over I give the same response, that it's really more about the personality of the animal than the gender. I feel like this often frustrates adopters, and I get it. It would be so much easier (for all of us!) if there were a set of rules to follow to ensure a smooth addition to your fur family.
But it really is about the personality - especially since all of the animals adopted out from Great Plains are spayed or neutered. Where two intact males might fight tooth and claw, two neutered males might cuddle up next to one another for adorable naps. Might. Because it's still possible that they will fight. Unfortunately, you never really know until you try.
Your best bet is to spend some time talking with the staff and volunteers about your home situation (well, the pet part of it. And the small child part) so you can work together to find the animal with a temperament that promises a greater chance of success. And then follow the recommendations from the adoption counselor for introducing your new pet to your home and family.
Also, it's very (VERY) important to have realistic expectations and pay attention to what the animal is telling you. Some will just jump right in with little or no hesitation, making friends with everyone they see. Others are more hesitant and need time to adjust to all of the new sights and sounds and smells.
Often people will go for a puppy or kitten in the hopes of reducing the adjustment time. This can be helpful, since you aren't adopting an animal with years of unknown triggers. But you also don't know what you're getting. With an adult animal, more of their personality is on display (though I wouldn't go so far as to say WYSIWYG - shelter stress doesn't bring out the best side of any animal) so you'll have a better idea of whether they are a chill, couch-potato critter or a hyper, run-around-the-house bundle of energy.
For example, we adopted Cali as a kitten. She has lived with Cosmo nearly her entire life, and Starbuck has been around for two years. She wants nothing to do with either dog and will often creep around trying to avoid them. PeeWee, on the other hand, well...see for yourself.
And while PeeWee is probably the most chill cat in the world (there's a reason we've nicknamed him 'the Dude'), even he took a bit to get used to these big, barky, slobbery monsters he was now sharing his home with.
To sum up, yes, it really is about personality. I've had male cats who were the best of friends (even though they were brought in separately as adult strays) and a female cat who really would prefer to be an only pet (though she's lived with other animals since she was a kitten). I have friends who have female cats that are inseparable. My two girl puppers are buddies, but Cosmo and Goofy were BFFs as well. Starbuck *loves* cats and other dogs while Cosmo doesn't really care one way or the other...except for small dogs (she's not a fan). You just never know until you *know.*
The best advice I can offer for finding a new pet is to set aside a block of time to get to know the animal the best you can in the shelter. Have a good conversation with someone who has worked with the animal and knows their quirks (if possible...sometimes critters are in and out so fast we don't get the chance to spend much time with them). If you have a dog and are adopting another, bring your dog in for a dog-to-dog meeting. A good D2D isn't a guarantee of success, but they are pretty darn good at surfacing a definite 'no.'
Give your new pet time and patience. If you have questions during the adjustment period, don't hesitate to contact the shelter. I can't speak about other shelters, but I know at Great Plains I've only seen people who are happy to help. Most of us on the volunteer side have pets of our own and I imagine it's similar on the staff side. We know unexpected stuff happens when you bring home a new furkid and we want everyone - people and pets - to have happy homes.
Finally, sometimes it just doesn't work out, despite the best intentions. It's heartbreaking, but it's okay. You're not a bad person or pet owner if the animal you've chosen just doesn't fit. While *most* of the time, cats can live with other cats and dogs if given time and space and a proper introduction, there are some who just refuse. And dogs can be a bit trickier, with the tendency of some to see smaller critters as a thing to chasechasechasechase. The comfort and safety of the entire family (people, pets, and the newbie) is important, and returning an animal that doesn't get along - even after all the time and patience and training you've tried - can be the only solution. It doesn't mean you can't try again with another animal, and now you have more information about what does and doesn't work for your family while the shelter has more information about the returned animal.
Good luck! And thanks for choosing to adopt!
